The selfless acts of motherhood

My love for Brooke is the most sincere, selfless feeling I have ever known. It truly is indescribable. I would honestly do anything for her. For example, we recently have been battling milk issues. I have been struggling to keep up with her; she is a growing girl and needs more than she was getting a month ago. However, I was just not producing enough. We discussed all possibilities – introducing cereal/solid foods, switching to formula, feeding her a mixture of breastmilk/formula…and even supplementing with a donor’s breastmilk! I know – who would have thought? When I first got pregnant I didn’t even think I would breastfeed, much less be breastfeeding 4+ months. So supplementing with someone else’s breastmilk may be a very unusual (and to many, gross) option, but as a mother I have come to realize that I will consider everything before deciding on the best thing for my child. For the record, we came to terms and decided as a family that we would make up the additional ounces of milk with formula. Go figure, it seems that I now have more milk than before, perhaps because I am not having to stress about getting enough. Nonetheless, Brooke is happily enjoying 6-8 ounce bottles of a mixture of breastmilk/formula (Similac Sensitive).

Becoming a parent has truly changed my life. While I thought my life was good and complete before, I had no idea the joy I would be rewarded with daily when I look into the eyes of my daughter. The emotion that fills my heart when I see her need and trust in me is something I hope every woman (and man) is able to experience. To my friends and family that do not have children, I do not know how to explain it. I just hope that one day you are blessed with children and can share in these same feelings. Watching her grow is the definition of bittersweet. While I hate the fact of time flying by and her getting bigger, it is incredible to see her personality develop and learn new things everyday. When she was a newborn, she smiled in her sleep, then after a couple months she voluntarily smiled when she saw mommy and daddy’s faces, and now she smiles and laughs out loud all the time! That gurgling noise that accompanies a big smile across our little one’s face is one the most precious things. Her eagerness and excitement grows from day to day.

As her independence grows strong, mommy occasionally gets sad thinking she doesn't need me as much. I know that's not true, she is just getting more adapted to her environment and constantly learning. Nonetheless, I have learned to take advantage of those times where she really wants her mommy. Some days when I come home, I hold her like I did when she was a newborn and let her snuggle up with mommy and take a catnap (even if it's an hour before bedtime). It's times like that which melt my heart and honestly bring tears to my eyes.

In addition to Brooke finding her toes, she has now begun putting her toes in her mouth! Again very cute and displays extreme flexibility, but makes it difficult to do diaper changes! She also manages to get anything she can into that mouth of hers, especially her thumb. While her paci is not always within reach, especially during the night when she wakes herself up, that thumb is the perfect fit into her tiny mouth! I am not a fan of thumb sucking. It is one of the most adorable things when she is sleeping with her little hand resting on her nose, but….I do not want her to be a thumb sucker for years to come! I am dealing with it for the time being, knowing that her sleeping through the night is more important (plus mommy and daddy are finally getting some overdue rest too)! We will cross that bridge here shortly, but for now…we sleep (Brooke with one hand in mouth and the other holding her toes).

It was this day last year that Michael and I got the call confirming that I was in fact pregnant. I came home to a bouquet of white roses (my favorite)! We had no idea how much our lives were going to change. I couldn't be more happy with exactly where we are in our lives. I love our little family!