January 31

So I've been doing some more reading on pregnancy, babies and such. I have realized that I am currently disgusted by breastfeeding! I know that it is supposed to be this miraculous thing and something only I can share with my baby. It's supposed to be all warm & fuzzy, and nurturing & precious and sweet that the baby is so close to my heart....BUT I don't feel that way. I watched a video and I honestly have to say that I think it is so primal and would make me feel like an animal! That woman and baby are forever engraved in my mind...blughh!! Perhaps my feelings on this will change and I hope I'm not the only one who thinks like this...well, I know I'm not...there was a reason my mother didn't nurse my sister and I! lol I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree! I still have a few months to change my feelings about it, perhaps the doctor will be able to tell me more pros and cons and we'll see what happens. I'm not being close-minded about anything, but some things may have to change with time!!

I have read that fatigue and nausea are most common in the first trimester and usually they fade away in the second trimester. I must say that is relieving to hear! The morning sickness has gotten a little better - and when I say sickness, let's be clear that I have not actually gotten sick...just nauseous! Lucky, for now. I find myself sitting down to do my hair and makeup less often. I have also got adjusted to eating breakfast before I leave for work in the morning; if I don't, I feel dizzy and nauseous! I have done fairly well at eating smaller meals and more often throughout the day - that seems to help a lot. My skin seems to be super dry lately - some of that may be caused by this crazy Houston weather - although I feel like our "little blueberry" is sucking all the moisture out of me! lol

One thing I'm wondering is if the emotions and hormones change any with the second trimester. I'm doubting it, but seriously...I am so emotional it's ridiculous! I cry at least once everyday. This morning, I grabbed a tank top to where under my sweater, and instead of grabbing the white one, which I intended to wear, I grabbed the black one. I got upset with myself!! I hope this is normal...and I'm not just a crazy person...and if this were to go away soon, I would be completely okay with that. I'm wondering exactly what it is that makes you so emotional and hormonal? I think that may be my research/reading material for today!

While all of this is getting to feel more realistic everyday, I can't wait until all of our family and friends now. I hate being so secretive. It was a choice Michael and I made, since the first trimester is very risky, but I will feel so much more relief, when I can openly talk to people and they understand why I'm not going to happy hour or why I've been under the weather for two weeks! Michael is waiting to find out more answers (ie, how many weeks we are, etc) at the doctor's appointment, before he tells his parents. Soon both sets of parents and us will have to all get together! :) It's been over four years and they have yet to meet. That sounds so weird, but with Michael living in Deer Park and my family being in west Houston, there just hasn't been a reason, per say, to bring everyone together...and now there really is!

My birthday is in two weeks and I'm hoping to have a small get-together with close friends and their significant other. It will be nice to celebrate my birthday and Valentine's day with close family and friends. If they don't already know, they will find out that night. Hopefully I can trust them with not letting our secret out. However, we will find out next week how far along we are and hopefully not have too much longer before letting the cat out of the bag! I am already working up some ideas with my pal Mal. She takes great pictures and is going to help us with our announcements! :)

Okay, back to work before a lunch meeting...

January 28 - 7 weeks

How far along? 7 weeks, current estimate

Total weight gain/loss:  n/a

Maternity clothes? Not yet. Sporting my skinny jeans as long as I still can.

Stretch marks?  No.

Sleep: Interrupted. I wake up between midnight-3 am every night to go to the bathroom. And I am always tired, even an hour after waking up!

Miss Anything? Sleeping all through the night...but I guess I should kiss that goodbye. Once the baby arrives, that will  be long gone...until they're at least 18 right?!

Movement: Not yet.

Food cravings: Not really. Although I did eat three different kinds of grilled cheese over the weekend, and special requested homemade banana bread from my mom.

Nausea or Sickness:  Unfortunately yes. Nausea every morning and a very close call (run to the bathroom after breakfast yesterday).

 
Have you started to show yet: My chest is growing but not the belly! lol

Gender: I think it's going to be a boy... my dad thinks it's twins!

Labor Signs: No way...too soon!

Belly Button in or out?  In...and I finally took out my piercing about a week ago.

Emotions: So emotional. I almost cried on the way to work today - "I Loved Her First" by Heartland came on and I thought about Michael being a Daddy, and me being my Dad's little girl. I feel like a crazy person getting mad or upset about the smallest of things. I pray for Michael, my parents and friends for dealing with me. I'm already an emotional person, now there's PREGNANT, emotional Jaime... Eek!

Looking forward to: Our first doctor's appointment is on 2.7.13. We will have our first ultrasound and hopefully hear the little booger's heartbeat!! Telling more family and friends will follow after the 1st appt.

Size of Baby: Measures 1/2 an inch long, doubled since last week




Our baby has slightly webbed fingers and toes,
although they look more like paddles at this point.



January 28 - Back to work

Upon arriving to my office this morning, I had a package from Mallory...

Green tea, lemon herb tea, cold-eeze, cough drops and non-aspirin tablets.
Thank you my friend (...and Wood Group)!

After being sick at home for 3 days, I am back to work...still not 100% though. I was getting a little stir crazy being couped up in the apartment all weekend, but now that I'm back I am wishing I was in bed. My parents came over on Saturday to bring me a special delivery of homemade banana bread. Although when they got there, my dad ended up whipping up his famous eggs benedict - he even did all the dishes and cleaned up when he was done. My mom vacuumed the apartment, even the stairs! They brought me a couple Valentine's kitchen towels and two frames for the frame holder in the hallway. I love them!!

Michael stayed in Deerpark for the weekend, since I was sick and he was just getting over being sick - he didn't want to risk getting it again. It was tough being away, but he was able to relax and hang out with the guys. He hasn't been able to see them much, since he has been in Katy every weekend since Christmas and soon, he will be living in Katy, so it will be even less.

Sunday morning, I got up and heated up two pieces of banana bread. I was on the phone with Michael and after the first piece, I mentioned how suddenly and incredibly full I was. Then I realized it was nausea. I told Michael I needed to call him back and ran to the bathroom. I absolutely hate getting sick! I sat there, almost in tears, saying to myself "please don't throw up, please don't throw up". I got up to turn the air down, as I felt myself getting very clammy. It eventually passed, and nothing came up...this time! My mom thought the bread made me nauseous and that she needed to come get the remaining loaf, I assured her it was the baby, not me! I finished the second piece without a problem. Just as I thought the morning nausea had been getting slightly better, there is a whole new meaning to "morning sickness".

I spent pretty much the whole weekend watching movies and on pinterest. I have created a secret board "Baby Bump", although many of the posts this weekend were food related! :)  I read I am not supposed to eat deli meat, unless it is steaming hot. So I opted for some different sandwiches this weekend - I had a good ol' fashioned grilled cheese with Kraft singles on Friday, Saturday I had a spinach & artichoke grilled cheese, and on Sunday I had a jalapeno popper grilled cheese. They were all delicious - I definitely recommend!

Yesterday, I was getting extremely bored, so I got up and moving around the apartment. I cleaned out the hall closet - more like organized actually. In there are coats, gift bags, vacuum, dslr camera bag, mini toolbox, holiday decor, etc. It looks a little better! Then I organized the laundry room - moving all things alcohol related to the upper corner shelf - container with koozies, bubbakeg, case of beer and 6 bottles of wine (that wouldn't fit on the wine rack). I guess I'll drink that stuff again one day, but I'm thinking of having a liquor sale - it's taking up valuable space. lol Oh and if you haven't seen the apartment, all of the cabinets above the kitchen sink have wine and/or martini glasses and shakers. I think those will need to be condensed for baby bottles!! Then I moved onto the closet. I have quite a bit of clothes and I need to start making room for Daddy...and eventually baby, if we are not able to upgrade to a bigger apartment before September. I tried on all of my pants, getting rid of ones that are too small and organizing the ones that I need to wear now (because they won't fit for too much longer) and the ones that are looser and will be good prego pants! I got rid of a few shirts too, in the process, but only one dress. I figured those will be a good summer staple for me, since they stretch and will easily go over my belly. I filled up a laundry basket full of stuff - thinking about going to the consignment shop around the corner. I have never been to one before, but getting money for clothes that I would just end up throwing out - bring it on!

Ten more days until our first doctor's appt. I pray that we like her, and don't have to keep looking. I cannot wait to hear the heartbeat...I imagine I am going to cry like a baby (pun intended)!

I heard a couple of quotes this weekend and I think they are perfect for our situation:

January 24 - Sick Mommy

It's starting to go without saying that there was another bathroom break during the night. I'm starting to wonder if that's your body's way of getting ready for the feedings during the night once the baby comes! And on top of that, I am feeling even worse than yesterday. I can't stop sneezing and my whole head feels super congested. I definitely took OTCs for granted, since you aren't really supposed to be taking any meds during pregnancy. I haven't been sick in months...go figure I get sick a couple weeks after finding out I'm pregnant!

I have always heard that you have crazy dreams during pregnancy but never really thought about it much...until now! I wake up in the mornings almost embarrassed about some of the things I can recall. They are so weird and out of nowhere! I hope these don't last long; I'm not sure if I can handle 8 more months of vivid awkward dreams every night!

Our department was nominated for an award and today we had a photoshoot at Clay's Restaurant. We did indivdual and group shots, and we all wore white shirts and jeans. I picked up a few tips from the photographer, but I was ready to get out of there, as I had made a doctor's appt. After 3 hours of pictures, I headed to Dr. Foox's for a checkup, not knowing what he would say or give me due to the pregnancy. My blood pressure was optimal and my weight hasn't changed...yet. After checking me out, he informed me that I really shouldn't be using my inhaler (for asthma) unless I absolutely need it. He was going to put me on an antibiotic and to get Delsym (OTC cough syrup) if my OB-GYN approved it, which she did.

I swung by my parents, since it was down the street from the doctor and to my surprise, my mom had made her homemade chicken noodle soup! :) They gave me some other stuff too - milk, orange juice, etc. They are too good to me!

It was a long day, but I still had to get my Rx at CVS...and then I was headed home to bed for the rest of the night.

January 23 - Shrinking Bladder

So it is becoming more frequent for me to wake up for mid-night bathroom breaks. 5:30 am Sunday night, 2:30 am Monday night, and 3:30 am last night! I don't feel like I'm drinking a whole lot more water than I used to...I've always drank a good amount. I am going to try to focus on drinking more during the day, and less after dinner. Hopefully that helps. I always heard that women pee more during pregnancy, but I always assumed it was during the last few months, when you have a giant baby pushing on your bladder...NOT when you have a "lentil bean" growing in there!! Although it is pretty crazy how different you feel from such small changes. I am still very tired and feeling nauseaous every morning. It's like that feeling the day you are starting to get sick - you just don't feel right, kinda blah, but you try to push through it. This morning I was feeling stuffy/sneezy on top of the usual, not good! The nurse said OTCs are not encouraged during maternity, so I may go try to get some extra Vitamin C - EmergenC or something simliar. Perhaps just good old fashioned OJ might help. Ashley, another pregnant coworker (maybe a month ahead of me) has been out sick for 3 days now! Poor thing.

I am trying to eat smaller meals, but more often throughout the day. I do not want to "diet" during pregnancy but eat more healthy - for the baby's and my sake! My lunch pack today included: pineapple, string cheese, 2 hard boiled eggs, rice and a flavored water drink (no caffeine or calories).

Today marks one week of no smoking. Crazy how time flies. I wonder if the next 8 months will go this fast...

January 22 - Dinner with my parents

I arrived to work at 6 am for an event, so before falling asleep at my desk, I decided to leave about 4:30. My parents were coming over for dinner anyway. I had an opened bottle of wine sitting out with a glass for my mom to finish up, since I had received the news after opening the Cab. We had planned to swapp leftovers for dinner; I got my mom's pork chops and brussel sprouts and they got my amazing lasagna rolls! My mom was supposed to bring the salad but forgot that, so we whipped one up a tossed salad with honey mustard - yum!!

The whole two hours that my parents were over, the conversation was all about the baby! My dad couldn't be happier - he may be the happiest grandpa in history...and the baby isn't even here yet. He was asking about my vitamins, what I've been eating, how I'm feeling, etc. He has the baby talk already down...which if you know my dad, he's had that down well before now! He has figured out how old the baby will be this Christmas and Christmas 2014! He has been looking at baby clothes at Stein Mart and knows the sales! He said he was going to buy diapers every month from now until the baby comes, so we can be stocked up - he said he was going to get the first pack tomorrow! :) So sweet. He was pretending to hold the baby and sing songs to them, then he put the baby in a fake stroller and was pushing it around the apartment. I told him he had to stop, because my neighbors below could probably hear him running around, so he moved the back of the apartment. A couple minutes later, he returns, still with his arms up pushing the fake stroller! I couldn't stop laughing, but thought it was so adorable that he is this excited. My mom thinks that he won't be able to keep it a secret for much longer - he is bursting with excitement and talks about it all day long!!!

I showed my mom the pictures of Michael and I with the pregnancy test, and she thought they were cute. So cute, in fact, she asked if Grammy and Grumpy could take one. I told her yes, as she got teary-eyed! I know the situation was a surprise to us all. However, none the less it is a miracle and we are embracing this blessing from above!

Notice the 2 fingers my dad is holding up...he thinks we're having twins!!!

January 21 - About 6 weeks now

It is weird keeping something like to myself. I usually tell people more than I probably should. I am a very open and honest person with my friends and family. However, Michael and I have agreed that the first trimester is the riskiest time for miscarriage. For fear of something happening with this unexpected surprise, we have decided to wait until 3 months to share the news. Our first doctor's appointment is on February 7th, with Dr. Kelly - hoping we like her. Otherwise, we will be on the search for another OB-GYN for Appt #2. At this appointment, we will have our first ultrasound and get answers to some of our questions. I think they should be able to tell us if there is only one baby or twins - Michael's dad is a twin and my paternal grandma miscarried with twins. Since it skips a generation and we both have it in our genes, it is very likely for us to have multiples. We will have to wait until February 7th to see what God is giving us...

Today I discussed moving options with my apartment complex. I just moved into a 1 bedroom apartment, less than a month ago. Obviously we would like to get a 2 bedroom apartment and be moved and settled in before the baby comes - which looks like it will be mid-September (based on a due date calculator on the internet).

Looked at some do's and don'ts of pregnancy today. Michael was worried about me eating yogurt. I found out yogurt is fine, so is cream cheese and cottage cheese. However, some cheeses and unpastuerized products are not okay...including Feta Cheese! I just ran out yesterday, but that is quite the staple in my diet. Oh well, for Baby Taylor I will make due without it!

Day 5 of not smoking. Surprisingly easier than I remember it being in the past. Again I think it is because the effects of pregnancy are stronger than the effects of withdrawing from nicotine! Crazy. I find myself making more trips to the restroom, drinking more water, eating less but more frequently throughout the day, FATIGUE (never recall being so tired and so often, from not doing anything extensive) and sore chest. I don't really find myself craving anything unusual. Although I did read something that said some pregnant women may find themselves craving non-edible items, such as chalk, detergent, etc. Oh my...if I start craving that stuff - cut me off! That is gross; I really hope I do not get to the point of craving weird things! I am about 6 weeks right now, so there is still a long ways to go.

Our baby went from being the size of a sesame seed to a lentil bean this week! Our "PB" is just growing away!



Our baby is as long as a lentil (about 1/4 inch).



January 20 - First Maternity Pictures

Woke up before 8 am and spent most of the morning on pinterest and the internet looking at maternity pictures. Michael and I decided to take pictures with the pregnancy test and my first “sideview” picture (1 month). I plan to take similar pictures down the road for some fun collages displaying the pregnancy. 

Today was the first day for me to take the prenatals. Before bed, Michael brings me the last of the 4 vitamins and says "Don't forget your last one!" He is already being a good caretaker for mommy, and what a good daddy he is going to be! I couldn't be happier!!!

January 19

Michael makes a delicious breakfast - fried egg, bacon and cinnamon muffins in the morning. We are up about 8 am, which is starting to become the norm since I am tired and in bed earlier these days. We decide to go to the outlet mall off 290 to walk around. Michael made a couple of comments that were supposed to be taken jokingly but I took them more seriously. After pouting about it for a couple of hours, I expressed to him how I felt and we worked it out. I want us to keep open communication and be honest with each other, now more than ever.

Michael had already made the comment that we have been together for 4 happy years and that this should only bring us closer together, not apart. I apologized at that time for my hormones and what they may make me feel or do in the future months. I found some prenatal vitamins at The Vitamin World and will start taking those (4 times a day) until my first doctor's appt in February.

January 18

Michael, my parents and I went to TXLC for dinner. This was the first time for us all to be together since the announcement. My Dad shook Michael’s hand and said happy birthday late. My Mom hugged and kissed Michael’s cheek, almost crying she told him happy birthday. About half way thru dinner, the news was brought up – as it had not yet been the topic of conversation. It comes out that my dad has already been “shopping” for the baby – looking at clothes at Steinmart! He has decided to refer to the baby as “PB” – precious baby, that will be our code. He is so excited. He has agreed that his name will be Grumpy! My mom likes Grammy, which is what she calls herself to my sister's dog! Michael tells my parents that he is looking at different job opportunities. He thought we would be engaged and married before this happened but it is what it is and we are going to make it work because regardless of marriage we love each other very much! My Dad was very pleased with everything we had to say. 

Both my Mom and Dad touch my tummy before leaving the restaurant – I inform them that the baby is the size of a sesame seed and that I did not feel comfortable with them caressing my stomach like that in public - first awkward moment of having someone touch my belly...not a fan!



Our baby has grown to the size of a sesame seed,
looking more like a tiny tadpole than a human.



January 17 - Michael's Birthday

It wasn't quite the gift Michael was thinking he would get for his 31st birthday!

My Dad tells my mom he wants the baby to be named Eduardo (boy) or Edwina (girl). Also tells her that they should turn one of the bedrooms at the house into a baby room with all of the stuff from the attic! Gladly he is coming around, and much sooner than I thought.

It's a busy day at work, with an event in the evening, so it might not be until Saturday that we all get to talk again. I really need to let my Dad know that it is being kept a secret for now! At work, I told my supervisor – she kept saying Congratulations! Later in the day, she came and talked to me about telling our manager, who is our new boss. He is ready to hit the ground running with all the new changes and she is worried that this might not be the year to give it 200%, especially if he’s thinking we are going to take events global – pregnant me (or the girl in our department who is also pregnant) on a plane to Kuala Lumpur?! No way! Wow… timing may be off, but Lisa ensured me that it’s not bad. Life happens. It is what it is.

Michael came over after I got off work. We talked a lot about everything. I am feeling much better about everything, although the reality of it all still fades in and out. I know I am pregnant, but it is still so weird to hear/say.

First day without a single cigarette. Operation "Quitting Cold Turkey" starts today!!! Much easier than I thought it would be, possibly because of the pregnancy-induced nausea!

January 16 - Telling my parents

At about noon, I got the call from the doctor’s office saying it was positive. I figured that it would be by this point. Later that day, I looked up nearby OB-GYNs, since the initial doctor I saw for the blood work does not practice Obstetrics (which I did have to google). I found a woman named Dr. Kelly, she graduated from Texas Tech and has been practicing for over 11 years.

I debated most of the day when to tell my parents. My mom and I are very close, so I knew it couldn't be much longer, that I am not good at keeping secrets from her. I picked her up from the doctor's office (she was at an appt for my grandma with my dad) in Katy. We got to my apartment, not discussing any of the news yet. She came to sit on the couch next to me and asked "What's new?" I said "I'm pregnant." She said she figured that something was up, since I was adamant about her coming over to take care of her sick daughter. She cancelled on her friends for Bunco and Dad was supposed to come pick her up. He came in to see me, but only said hi from the hallway; he said he didn’t want to get close enough to get what I had. I said he couldn’t get what I had because I was pregnant. I thought he was going to faint, his keys fell to the ground and he looked confused. He walked down the stairs and out of my apartment, leaving the complex. My mom and him played phone tag for a bit before he came back to get her. He was quite surprised to say the least, but aren't we all?

January 15 - The Test

After spending days thinking about it, I finally decided to take a test so I could get on with my work. I left the office and went to to CVS to buy a pregnancy test at 2 pm. I hadn't told Michael yet, but after I took the first test and saw that it was positive, almost instantly. I sent him a picture, knowing he would call me right after. I was in shock and didn't even know what to say or think yet. Michael said "Does that say what I think it says?" I said "Yes." He replies "Are you excited?" I thought that was adorable. After talking and drinking lots of water, I took the second...again positive.

I decided I was going to call my best friend, Mallory, at this point to come over and help me find somewhere to go get a blood test. She found me a gyno right around the corner to confirm. After about 12 pages of paperwork and a few laughs, I got my blood drawn with Dr. Kern. While filling out papers, the doctor asked if I wanted a boy or girl – and I said I hadn’t gotten that far yet. He followed with "I guess picking names is out of the picture then too!" Uh...that would be a yes!

I spent the rest of the evening on the phone with Michael, as we both tried letting reality sink in.

Positive Pregnancy Test (1 of 2)

January 12 - Dizziness

We woke up early and I was in the kitchen making breakfast. I suddenly felt dizzy and had to go straight to the couch to lie down. Michael finished making breakfast. I didn't think anything of it, other than it being weird that I got so light headed from making eggs!

We went shopping for new stuff for the apartment - bedroom wall art, wine rack, vases for the living room, etc. We talked to my parents and they were going to come over later for dinner. They brought the ribs, and we supplied the sides. At dinner, I had a Budlight with 2 limes - which ended up being my last alcoholic drink...

I had planned to go to a friends' birthday celebration that evening, but for some reason was just exhausted. I was off to bed shortly after eating! I kept thinking I was coming down with something. I had a thermometer in the bathroom and was checking my temperature almost every morning...