Home is where the heart is

Lately everyone seems to be posting pictures on social media encrypted with #tbt for “throwback Thursday”. The meaning behind it is to display a picture or memory from the past and reminisce upon it. So today it had me thinking; so many thoughts and feelings have been flooding my mind and heart. It was about 4 months ago that Michael found out that we would be traveling to Ennis, TX to supervise a big job for his company. I was worried and heartbroken as my maternity leave was wrapping up and I was going to be alone during the weeks he would be gone with a 2 month old baby. I was terrified! It was a great opportunity for him, but we knew how hard it was going to be on all of us. The job got delayed a couple weeks, as did my return to work when my Grandmere passed away sooner than we had expected. Time went on and we all managed to make things work. I learned a lot! I adapted to an earlier morning routine than I had ever imagined possible. I found out just how much you can do one-handed. I learned how great leftovers are. I discovered that the tiniest of humans have the most dirty laundry.

I don’t think anyone else ever understood how hard it was on me. During that time, I was dealing with sleep deprivation and anxiety, grieving my grandmother’s passing, raising a newborn, and returning to work after a c-section and 10 weeks of maternity leave. Having my parents live nearby and watch Brooke was the greatest blessing. Let it be known - you are never too old to get help from your parents! I am not ashamed to say that my parents watch our baby, live 2 miles from our house and often invite me for dinner or provide me with lunch during the week! I am also grateful for my sister and a few close friends who are always there whenever I need them. Along with all of these emotions it just had me thinking about how hard things were with a newborn and how much Brooke has grown since then. She is such a great baby and Michael and I are truly blessed to be her parents. She will be 6 months next week! How is it that it seems like just yesterday but then again seems so long ago?

So here we are at the end of February and Brooke is almost 1/2 a year old. During that time, there were lots of phone calls, pictures and tears. It was a wonderful opportunity for Michael and his career, but I can honestly say I have never been so happy to have him home! When he got home tonight, it was different than any other Thursday. I was overcome with this sense of relief knowing that on Sunday he wouldn't be packing up to leave again. Looking back at everything we have overcome and how strong are family bond has become; I know we are capable of taking on anything. I can only hope that the future jobs that Michael has are located in town, but if not, that is okay. We are both hard working parents and we do so to provide for our child. However, for now, I am going to enjoy every minute of him being here. Tonight I was able to wash my face and get ready for bed, while he fed the baby. I was able to sit down and enjoy dinner at home with my love on a Thursday night. I didn't even have to wash the bottles! I was in bed before 9 and…was able to watch the entire episode of Grey’s Anatomy! Wow… I think that is what others call normalcy. And it feels so good. Feeling blessed and ever so grateful for God putting Michael and Brooke into my life. I don't know where I would be without them.

Unfortunate, inherited trait

Brooke has gotten a trait from mommy that I was wishing she wouldn't... What we were hoping was just dry skin from the weather, the doctor recently confirmed is eczema. I remember as a child itching so bad that I would not be able to move my arms and legs. I was even hospitalized when it got really bad. The thought of that happening to Brooke breaks my heart. We have been trying to keep her dry skin under control, but this weekend she had a very bad flare up. Saturday, I bought some Baby Eczema Eucerin cream and tried that Sunday morning. She looked red, but it seemed to go away. Then a couple hours later, it got worse. It was red around her mouth, her chest, legs, arms…everywhere. I was so scared. I was in tears. Michael was nervous too! We called the doctor’s office and were ready to take her to Urgent Care, if necessary. She was scratching the backs of legs with her toes and her head and chest too. It was heartbreaking to see her skin so irritated.

We applied hydrocortisone on the affected areas and it didn't take long for it to be looking better. We kept a close eye over night, but planned to take her to the doctor in the morning. I don’t like seeing my baby suffer, and I take full advantage of snuggling during times like this. She is my precious baby and I want her better!

The doctor confirmed it was eczema and, as we know, there is no cure. We just have to keep in under control. She prescribed a steroid cream to use if and when lotion and hydrocortisone are not working and in case of flare ups, like on Sunday. She suggested using Curel for an everyday lotion, and so far that seems to be working much better. Her skin is back to being baby soft, with only minor redness in some of the creases. I am so happy that it is already looking 100% better. She is on the right track!

Despite her closet full of adorable clothes, she has been spending a substantial amount of time in her birthday suit lately. Her skin needs to breathe and she doesn't mind it either! She even enjoys “taking a ride in her car” in the buff.

My sweet life

What used to be a week (or sometimes month) long celebration was barely a thought in mind. Last year I celebrated my birthday by going shopping for PB, as we had just found out about our pregnancy a few weeks prior. This year was not much different. Brooke is my world. I could barely even think of anything I wanted for myself. I asked for a few items for the house, and was more than happy to get that and more! I have converted to a less materialistic type person with the birth of my baby girl…or maybe my needs and wants have just changed more with age.

Michael and I went out to dinner the week before, to avoid the Valentine's Day crowd. Yup, we are that old and lame. My parents watched Brooke and we were on the road to dinner about 6, no reservations either. We ended up at Brenner's Steak House, a first for both of us. We got the last table in the corner by the bar..and it was perfect. We both had lamb, 2 drinks and dessert! Wow. It was such a nice date with my love, to celebrate my birthday and us! It is not often that we get out anymore, but when we do, we do it right. We left semi-miserable after a 3-course meal, but we were home in bed by 9. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

Thursday my coworkers surprised me with chocolate chip cookie cake (yum!). 

Friday night, my actual birthday, my parents had us over for dinner…and my birthday peanut butter pie (my mom knows the way to my heart…and never fails to make it every year for me!). My hair was in a ponytail and I had on no makeup – it was perfect. 

We had a few family and friends over the next day to enjoy some cake (as if we hadn't had enough already!)...

It was a nice and simple celebration. Brooke met my friend Chelsea’s youngest son, Parker who is one month younger. They hit it off right away, and had a great photo shoot!

All in all, my birthday celebrations have surely changed, but one thing is for certain, family is the greatest gift of all. Spending some quality time with loved ones and having my little sweetheart in my life is all a girl can ask for!

My heart is full.

5 months

On February 4^th, Brooke was 5 months old. I truly feel the days go by so fast. It seems like we just brought her home from the hospital. The restless days of 3 hour feedings, tiny little diapers, and standing in the hallways singing made up songs while rocking her to sleep seem so long ago. I miss her infancy but I also adore watching her grow. It is amazing to know that Michael and I created this beautiful angel and after 10 months inside my tummy, she entered this world. Since then and with each passing day, her eyes get bluer, her smile gets bigger and her desire to learn continues to grow. I am absolutely smitten and blessed to call her mine. Some days I just stop and think “How did I get so lucky?” Brooke is such a good baby. I fall in love with her more and more everyday. 

On a typical day, Brooke wakes up at 7:30 and drinks 8 ounces of milk. She goes to Grammy and Grumpy’s Monday thru Thursday, and Fridays one of us is usually home with her. She sleeps for about an hour in the morning, a couple hours in the afternoon, and one more hour nap before the evening. She eats 7 ounces every 3 hours, with an extra ounce or two in her last bottle. At about 7 o’clock, we begin her nighttime routine – bath, bottle, bed. She isn’t to the point of playing in the bath just yet, but she knows her bottle and bed are shortly thereafter. Often she has trouble keeping her eyes open during her bath and tries to sneak a thumb in her mouth! She sleeps through the night and is in her crib for 12 hours straight! She may wake during the night but she “talks” herself back to sleep. She also falls asleep on her back, but at some time during the night rolls to her tummy and sleeps that way until morning. Like I said, we are blessed with a very good baby. I love her to the moon and back!

She is not blowing raspberries quite as much as she was a few weeks ago. Still no teeth, but drooling like crazy and will put anything (her fingers, your fingers, toys, blankets, etc) in her mouth. She tries to roll over during diaper changes, but that surely beats the way she used to scream when she was a newborn. We are still supplementing with some formula (5 ounces breastmilk, 2 ounces formula) and she is doing perfect with that. She is growing like a weed! She is in between 6 month and 9 month clothes and wearing size 3 Pampers Swaddlers. She has outgrown her size 1 shoes and hates socks! She still loves putting her toes in her mouth; socks and shoes just get in the way. Her skin is still a little dry; I put baby lotion on twice a day and try to keep her naked for a little while to let her skin breathe. We are not sure if eczema will be an issue her whole life, but for now we are doing our best to keep in under control, especially in the cold, dry weather. We are not surprised, as eczema runs in both of our families; I struggled with it severely throughout my childhood. Due to those troubling memories of my itchy skin, I pray that Brooke's get better soon!

She loves seeing people make silly faces, blow raspberries and “talk” with her. She has recently started hugging too. I am not sure if she completely comprehends what she is doing, but when her arms swing around my neck and she buries her face into my chest my heart just melts. Either way I know it is her way of showing her trust and love in me, and it’s the sweetest thing. She is capable of holding her own bottle and putting her pacifier in her mouth. She sits up unsupported very well, lifts up her entire head and chest during tummy time and loves to stand (with some assistance, of course). She is so strong! Her latest trick is riding the horsey; she moves back-and-forth when propped up on your leg. She looks so eager to move; I think she will be an early crawler, unless she skips that completely and goes straight to walking!

My entire world has changed from the life I once knew and I love every moment. I adore my daughter more than anything in this world! Being a mother is the greatest gift and I am blessed to call her mine. She has stolen my heart. She easily brings tears to my eyes just thinking of the joy that we endure daily because of her. Nothing in this world compares to the sound of her laughter, the grasp of her tiny hand around my finger and the warmth of her body as I hold her close to my heart. She is only 5 months old and I am trying to hold on to every moment and memory, as we all know how fast time flies by (I may have already started looking at 1^st birthday party ideas…)!

When it's just the two of us, nothing else in this world matters. I no longer live to work, but merely work to provide for her. It makes every bit of my job and every action I make even more fulfilling, knowing that she is the motivation behind everything I do. She is my world. I can't imagine my life with out Michael and Brooke. 5 years with Michael and 5 months with Brooke - I can't wait to see what the next 5 have in store for us!